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How to avoid getting sucked into a relationship with a narcissist

Sending love to anyone going through this, we care about you.



In our previous article, we talked about signs that show your partner may be a narcissist and explained the red flags to look out for. If you haven’t checked that out yet, you can do so here.

In this blog post, we will be diving right into how you can avoid getting yourself involved emotionally with a narcissist and what to do if you already in that type of relationship. To start off, let us use some real life stories to show you why staying out of a relationship with a narcissist is so critical.

We'll call them Proofs.

Proof #1: I was trapped in a cycle of abuse that decimated my soul and turned me into a shadow of myself. I knew there was something intrinsically off about him but could never put a finger on what it was. I always just thought he was a run of the mill jerk until the devalue stage when he became absolutely unbearably cruel to me and then just walked out of our life. Through my research it seems that this is a typical way that most people find out their partner is a narcissist. It seems to me, most people don’t realize they are abused until it stops and don’t realize that they were narcissistically abused until they find out they were in such a relationship.

Proof #2: About a year into the relationship. Out of which 6 were a complete hell. Repeated cycles of love bombing, devalue, ghosting, triangulation and discard. I thought he was just a f*ckboy who couldn't make up his mind. I kept making all kinds of excuses to justify his behavior in my head while labelling it just immaturity.

Story source: Quora


The proofs above are true life experiences from people who dated individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a disorder, a mental condition where the victims exhibit certain manipulative traits towards those they are in a relationship with. They usually operate in the 3-phase process of idealizing, devaluing and discarding. This can be very draining, emotionally exhausting and traumatizing hence, why falling into a relationship with a narcissist isn't such a good idea.


"It’s good to learn from your mistakes. It’s better to learn from other people’s mistakes."


The main issue, however, is that the signs often go unnoticed. This means that months into the relationship, you realize that your partner may truly be a narcissist and then, you feel stuck and too sucked in to leave.

To avoid this, we have curated a short but effective list of signs to look out for to ensure you do not get entangled in these types of "situationships".

  1. Watch how they treat others at the early stage

  2. They make it all about themselves and so little about you.

  3. You can feel a lack of empathy from them.

  4. Everything feels rushed. In healthy relationships, you are allowed to take things at your own pace. Don't be taken in by the fantasy and beware of the "love bombing" at the early stage.

  5. They are always either the hero or the outright victims in all their stories. They showcase little to no ability to self-reflect.

It is important to note that not everyone who exhibits these signs are suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. Only a licensed psychologist can accurately evaluate the presence of a mental condition. These signs can be useful in helping you understand what you may be experiencing but they are not a substitution for a proper medical diagnosis.


Now that you know some of the signs to look out for, what can you do if you suspect or have overwhelming evidence that you might be dating a narcissist?


LEAVE!


I know that sounds harsh but the effects of being entangled with an emotionally abusive and manipulative person can be catastrophic for the recipient. We understand that this option isn't available to everyone and in that case, we encourage you to reach out to your network for support or contact a licensed counselor for professional advice on how to navigate the situation. It's important that you protect yourself and give yourself the chance at a healthy relationship with an emotionally available partner. You deserve healthy love!


So there you have it! These are some ways to identify and hopefully stay out of getting entangled in a narcissistic relationship. If you have a personal experience with a narcissistic partner you would love to share or maybe you know someone who might be going through this right now, we would love to hear from you in the comments section.


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